迤逦而柔美的文字打动着同样敏感而善良的感情，女人总是能透着层层的笔墨的包裹而心心相惺。曾经有人告诉我，在张小娴的文章，总能发现每个女孩的影子，或许只是那么一丝丝的感觉，或许只是一个小小的细节而已。原来在爱情的世界，每个人都是一样，经历着伤痛，品味着淡淡的幸福，绚烂如春花，粲然如秋叶。对于爱情的执着和固执，没有来由的眷念与感伤，或许是春的妩媚，或许是夏的热情，或许是秋的深沉，或许是冬的娴静，没有人能逃得掉宿命的伤感，沉沦的自我。爱是伤人的，痛苦中绽放快乐，伤害的彼此都逃不掉。
  
   《面包树上的女人》，一部女人的成长史，一起长大的三个女人，共同走过青色年华，在爱的海洋中起起落落，伤害并被伤害着，执迷不悔而又寻觅追求着，以不同的方式幸福着悲伤着，在情感的世界里，没有一个不是千疮百孔，生生死死。
    
    那些少年不谙世事的年龄，拥有着最美的渴望和期翼，懵懂的情怀中是成长的秘密，是单纯的爱恋，在成人龌龊的欲望之中萌生出让人爱怜的纯洁。或许，每个喜欢幻想的女孩都有过这样一个青涩的成长，对于异性难于言齿，倾慕崇拜的情感，也许，这个对象不一定是现实中的某个人，他可以是座位旁边然后旁边的那个人，也许是一袭白衣，也许是擦肩而过的某个影子，也许是一张电影画报图片，可是那个人就在我们的心中静静地守候等待着有一天被开启，于是也打开了女孩自己。那些年轻的岁月啊，怎么可以爱的这样美丽而伤感。
    
    第一个走进生命中的男人，总是这样蛮横地霸占着记忆。每个女孩对于走进心中的第一个男人，总是有着最痛切的爱与恨，固执地相信那就是上天的安排，所谓缘分最好的诠释，因为那个人而固执地相信自己来到这个世界的意义，一袭梦依旧，转眼泪两行，繁花落尽处，永世不相忘。
  
    无论是程韵，还是迪之，还是光蕙，爱情总是让每个女人发现了真正的自己，看到了真实的自我，没有办法说哪个做的更高明，选择的方式不同，在爱情的世界患得患失，还是飞蛾扑火，孤注一掷，每个人都在让自己活得精彩，却没有一个人不是心力交瘁。再聪明的女人，即使知道自己需要的是什么，碰到爱情，依然是在劫难逃，命运早都为每个女人布好了生命的劫数，没有人能够挣得脱，你可以选择不爱，你可以选择拒绝爱，在爱与被爱之中，你是看客也是主角，为别人，为自己把心揉碎，世上并没有曾经以为的那种超凡脱俗的爱，因为男人办不到。
  
    喜欢在深夜听一曲曲伤感的老歌，细细数落着过往的岁月，那些深深浅浅的记忆放大再放大，在沉寂的夜色中，飘飘荡荡，充盈在整个心间。远逝的、明亮的、深色的、斑斓的、爱恨情仇，错综交织，像一把锋利的匕首，刺伤缄默的伤口。有人说月亮代表着情欲，那夜晚就是情欲最华美的外衣，爱情的形式，还是情欲的冲动，夜给了我们温柔，也给了我们太多放纵自己的理由，以夜的名义，相爱了，搁浅了，丢失了，月亮在谁的眸子里放着光彩，见证着似曾相识的对白，爱情在夜色中昙花般绽放，娇艳而魅惑。
    
    程韵的爱情是郁金香，朴实无华而又卓尔不群； 迪之的爱情是玫瑰，鲜艳欲滴而又浮华脆弱，光惠的爱情是牵牛花，寂寞成长而又牵绊错杂。三个女人的爱情就是这样的支离破碎。有人说张小娴对爱情太悲观，她把感情诠释的太真实，太伤感。其实她的笔下还是传统意义上的男才女貌，两情相悦模式，不过是换了时间，变了场地，改了身份。爱情总是不经意地闯入，而这样的不经意竟然就是整个青春的喜怒哀乐，就是一生的悲欢离合。陷入爱情中每一个人似乎都有着非爱不可的理由，爱或许就是欲望，看得太清楚，也许无奈，到头来是伤害，也许爱情什么都不是，仅仅是一种感觉，一种记忆，我们习惯了，也就懒得再去习惯另一种方式，也许爱情，只是我们寂寞了，或许，爱情它真的存在过，只不过太短暂了，我们没有勇气去抓住它，在随风的岁月中，慢慢地退色，留下的只是相对无语的沉默与无奈残酷的别离。
    
    世上并非只得一种爱情。迪之不是一个想安定的女人，幸福不是她追求的目标，即使明白爱情可以是游戏，也宁愿把游戏玩到极致，游戏或许不会让人太过沉重悲伤，这样至情的一个女子，那么洒脱又何尝洒脱过，纵使千娇百媚，翻云覆雨，到底是意难平，心自伤。那个沉浸在风花雪月的歌声中欲罢不能的女子，又何尝不是爱情的乞丐，播种痛苦和眼泪。爱上一个需要女人付出却又无从付出的悲观男人，他有本事令人快乐，也最有本事令人流泪。他爱上一个人，说不出原因，不爱一个人，也不会说原因。他原来是一个不值得依赖的男人。 “我一生能为你唱，从相遇的那一天，那些少年的岁月…该有雨，洗去错误的足印，该有雪，刷去脸上的模糊……”，这样一个男人不是不懂感情，在爱情中他太了解自己了，给不了别人，给不了自己，他——是一个生活在另一个世界的人。
    
     背叛需要时间来弥合，需要很久很久，那个伤口才不再痛，若爱惜自己，便不要软弱。程韵是聪明的，也是无奈地，爱又如何，不爱又怎样，人总是要成长的，或许爱情的使命就是让我们成长，聪明的不再用痛苦换取短暂欢愉，撕开爱情的幌子，是一段成长的痛史。抑或经过了黑夜，又会再度明亮，独立会让一个女人更有魅力，不再成为感情的囚徒，而是驾驭爱情的主人，爱情仅是生命的调味剂，没有了它生活或许会有一丝单调，有了它不过是品尝了更多酸甜苦辣的味道。
  
    “我做得最好也最失败的事情便是爱你”，一段刻骨铭心的爱情，会让人丢失半个生命的自己，然后找到完整的一个自己。爱过，就真心地让你离开，不再牵袢你，让你不用遗憾，让自己不再眷念，感谢过往的生命曾被你放逐。虽然没有你，或许会有一些不习惯，却让我对生活有了别样的体验，别离在咫尺天涯，相逢在地老天荒。

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                                             He Contributes nothing But  Expects To Be Fed

===My stingy boyfriend is giving me heachaches

  I have a boyfriend  I have been seeing for about two years.We both have good jobs and have houses. He just bought a new property,which I was helping to furnish and decorate with my own money.But he does not want to spend even a cent on me . I have tried  to show him that l love him .If I see something nice that would suit his house ,I always buy it for him,When l ask for something ,he always keeps me waiting and never buys the stuff i want.When his daughter wants something,he will drop everything to make sure she gets it.I don't have even one thing i can say he bought for me .I don't mean that i believe in material things ,but he can afford to take me out to dinner or spend money on me .When i ask him to take me out ,he always says he does not have money or just doesn't answer me. He spends most of time at my place,meaning that I have to prepare food for him. He contributes nothing but expects a plate of food every day. One day he was asking for food ,and I got upset and told him he should buy food if he wanted it . We had an argument and he left my  house that night and left my house keys behind. We are still together but now he will not ask for anyting when he is at my house .Do you hink this guy loves me or do i have a future with  him? He always says i am too quick to judge.What must i do ?

----=========My love ,Momma certainly doesn't think you are too quick to judge.What you have is  a boyfriend who is not only stingly but also seems to only look out for himself .Your man has some serious work to do if he intends to keep your relationship going. If you both have good jobs,what is this nonsense that you have to continuously pay for everything?yes ,we've moved on from the dark ages when men had to always foot the bill,and as independent modern women we believe in paying our share ,but your man is seriously taking advantage,A relationship is about give and take ,but now and then it would be nice if he could be a  gentleman ,not to mention a romantic ,and treat you to something special like a dinner.Does Momma think you have a futurewith him? Well,honey,that's really up to you .Do you think your man is going to change ?Only you will be able to assess that.Sit him down and tell him that you would like to take some finanical responsibity because it's only fair.And being a couple means sharing.Ask him if he would expect any less if the roles were reversed. If he understands and agrees to contribute,then there is hope for him still.But if he is going to be a pig about the whole thing,then you must seriously think about whether you want to be with a man who can't begin to understand giving.